Composer Cagematch!

A way to go (and away I go!)

Oh, hey guys! I was going to tell you something before today’s viola joke… let’s see, what was it…

I’m going to Walt Disney World! Again! Like that one time! And that other time too! And that time I kind of went but not really! I’m not crazy, honest.

A short trip this time, though; I leave this afternoon and will return on Tuesday with a Not Monday Video. Don’t forget to vote in the Composer Cagematch! Voting will still close on Saturday at midnight as per usual and Piotr and George need you. And make sure you’re following me on Twitter in case I find something musically interesting while I’m there (which I always do).

Anyway. Laugh:

Q. How does a violist’s brain cell die? Continue reading »

Composer Cagematch! Round 4: Gershwin vs. Tchaikovsky

Oh now just what in the hell was that.

Seriously? SERIOUSLY? Brahms over STRAVINSKY? Whatever happened to Team Igor? I feel like I went in for the trust fall and you didn’t catch me, readership. Harrumph.

Well, fine. I have some devilish plans for Johannes in the future. For now, I must collect myself and announce that in this corner, he turned Verdi Blue! It’s

GEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORGE GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERSHWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN

And in this corner, he serenaded Copland right out of the ring! It’s

PIOTR! ILYICH! TCHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVSKYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Tchaikovsky discovers America, indeed.

Composer Cagematch! Round 4: Brahms vs. Stravinsky

And so goes the final match of round 3, as I predicted: with Brahms the winner. But Grieg, sir, let it not be said that you didn’t put up a valiant fight. In deference to your heroic effort, we are throwing Brahms directly back into the ring. Immediately! Without rest! Against one hell of a competitor!

Hold on to your hats and glasses, folks, because in this corner, he sent Grieg on a long walk off a short Peer! It’s

JOOOOOOOOHAAAAAAAAAAANEEEEEEEEEES BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHMS

And in this corner, he subjugated Bartok! (‘Cause, y’know, the USSR took over Hungary, and… shut up. The Peer one was good.) It’s

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGOOOOOOOOOR STRAAAAAAAAAAVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINSKYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Well? Are you a romantic at heart, or are you ruled by new and modern sensibilities?

Composer Cagematch! Round 3: Grieg vs. Brahms

I am shocked! Shocked, I tell you!

And by “shocked” I of course mean “not remotely surprised.” How about you? Are you beyond flabbergasted that, in this late-round fight, Tchaikovsky took down Copland? Although in fairness, I do want to point out that I never expected Copland to advance past his first-round competition against Dvorak, so a round of applause for a solid competitor, who still loses so that’s the last we’ll be thinking about him.

Now let’s finish up round three with a match that should be similarly fraught with suspense. But first I just wanted to point out that when criminals in this world appear and break the laws that they should fear and frighten all who see or hear the cry goes up both far and near for

EEEEEEEEEEEDVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD GRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEG

(As a side note, he choreographed Saint-Saens a whole new danse; he’s also in a corner.)

And in this corner, he proved Mahler to be no titan! It’s

JOOOOOOHAAAAAAAAANNEEEEEEEEEEEEEES BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHMS

Battle… FIGHT!

P.S. When Polly’s in trouble I am not slow. It’s hip, hip, hip and away I go!

Composer Cagematch! Round 3: Copland vs. Tchaikovsky

Triumph of the American spirit!

I’m not going to beat around the bush, so to speak — it was a tough fight, with both parties taking the lead at times, but ultimately Gershwin eeked it out over Verdi. People, THIS is what the Composer Cagematch! series is all about. I have seen Verdi listed on a number of top 10 great composer lists, and Gershwin none. If pressed, I bet even a lot of the Gershwin voters would admit that, technically, Verdi is the better composer. But Gershwin! Gershwin, it seems, is the composer you love. And that’s why he proceeds to the next round.

Well done, George, you scrappy little American, you. You’ve done your country proud. Can you brother in citizenship do the same? It’s time to find out, because in this corner, he pushed Britten over a cliff! It’s

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAROOOOOOOOOOOOON COOOOOOOOOOPLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!

And in this corner, he stabbed Rimsky-Korsakov with a spindle and sent him to bed! It’s

PIOTR! ILYICH! TCHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIKOOOOOOOOOOOOOVSKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

I don’t think anyone’s going to argue over who’s the better composer (although who knows?). But! Who. Do. You. Love?

Composer Cagematch! Round 3: Verdi vs. Gershwin

Well. No one can say that wasn’t definitive.

In a contest that probably surprised precisely no one including those that voted for the other guy, Stravinsky took the first match of round 3 away from Bartok. Not that there wasn’t a lot of love for Bela! There was! Just not… y’know… enough. Whereas practically everyone on earth seems to be doodling “Mrs. Igor Stravinsky” in their notebook during study hall (do the kids still have study hall?), his vague rat-face notwithstanding. (Sorry, Igor, but I’m sure you know what you look like; and anyway, you WON, so chillax.) (Do the kids still say chillax?)

Hopefully this one will give you a bit more pause. Wait for it…

Wait for iiiiiiiiit…*

………….. In this corner, he CAN Handel it! It’s

GIIIIIIIIIIUUUUUUSEEEEEPPPEEEEE VEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

And in this corner, he gave Chopin the chop! It’s

GEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOORGE GERRRRRRRRRRRRRRSHWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN

USA vs Italia, people!

UPDATE! I have exciting news! This CC! just got more interesting, because our own medalist of Violar Mr. Stephen P. Brown (Can Moo. Can You?) is offering one lucky winner 20% off the online viewing fee of the Tapestry Tampa Bay concert on March 23! All you need to do to win is comment on this post with the reasoning behind your vote (those who have already commented are automatically entered). One name will be selected at random as the winner, who will be announced along with the weekly viola joke on March 22. Ready? COMMENT!

* This can be a HIMYM reference OR a Psych reference. Dos deuces!

Or Concert Roundup

The letters of the day are “O” and “R.”

• This week the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra plays Elgar that ISN’T a march from Pomp and Circumstance. Crazy, right? But apparently he also wrote a Serenade for Strings. And if you can’t get behind that, how about the second Bach violin concerto? Or a Mendelssohn octet? March 8 at the Meyerhoff. [ See it! ]
• Or if you prefer, you can catch the BSO outside their gilded cage in the wilds of Frederick on March 10, with the exact same program only for some reason it’s got its own completely separate link. What a bunch of weirdos. [ See it! ]
• Or! Have kids? I’m sorry; I would’ve counseled against it if you’d asked me beforehand. Ah, well, fait accompli. You’re probably desperate for a means to distract them on weekends; the BSO can help with that too. Their matinee children’s program “Sea Songs” promises shipwrecks, pirates, and Rimsky-Korsakov. March 10 at the Meyerhoff. [ See it! ]
• Current Cagematch! competitor Bartok in the house! The National Symphony Orchestra’s house, that is. It’s an all Bartok program, with The Miraculous Mandarin and Bluebeard‘s Castle. March 8 – 10; free discussion after the March 8 performance. [ See it! ]
• Or! On March 9, the NSO offers a rather more varied program. You still get a bunch of Bartok, but you can intersperse it with Kodaly, Liszt, and all the Brahms you can dance, provide your dance is Hungarian. [ See it! ]
• A smattering of upcoming Strathmore concerts: a jazz quintet, Ugandan song and dance, classical guitar, and Army and Marine bands. [ See the calendar! ]

Composer Cagematch! Round 3: Stravinsky vs. Bartok

AHA! Finally I get a win!

In the last match of the second round, you chose Gershwin over Chopin to advance. Handshakes all ’round, guys. Good show.

And that brings us to round three, everybody — we’re less than ten matches away from crowning a winner. But before we can get started, I’d like to tell you a story.

A few weeks ago I stayed for a bit after ballet class to practice a dance we’re learning set to Bartok’s Music for Strings, Percussion, and Celesta; absolutely amazing, amazing stuff.* After I had run through it a few times, a lady from class came up to me and said, “So does this music just drive you crazy?”

“Huh?”

“This music. It’s so… out there. Like Stravinsky just drives me nuts.”

I made some gentle protest in a nod-and-smile, nod-and-smile sort of way because anyone who doesn’t like Bartok OR Stravinsky should be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats, but whatevs. The point is… well, the point is that… the point is…

…that in this corner, he La Mer-dered Debussy! (All right, hot shot, YOU think of one.) It’s

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGOOOOOOOOOOOR STRAAAAAAAAAAVIIIIIIIIIIINSKYYYYYYYYY

And in this corner, he wrote Schoenberg a whole new set of compositional rules! It’s

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELAAAAAAAAAAA BARRRRRRRRRRRRRTOOOOOOOOOOOK

So tell me… how would you like to be driven mad?

*In the interest of fairness I should note that Stravinsky also wrote amazing, amazing stuff. Petrouchka, for example.

Composer Cagematch! Round 2: Gershwin vs. Chopin

In the immortal words of The Sandlot: You’re KILLING me, Smalls.

I threw Verdi into the ring with a wince, guilt-ridden over the fact that I had no one stronger to defend against the mighty Handel. And what does Giuseppe do? Grinds Georg into a pulp and bakes him into a pie like some kinda classical Titus Andronicus. A late pro-Handel rush narrowed the gap, so that takes away a bit of the sting, but still. Verdi wins. Drat. (Also, I would totally order Handel pie, if only for the pun.)

Let’s move on quickly, because there’s only one match left in round 2. They are an odd match, and I am determined to arrange the battle with no preconceived notions.

And so in this corner, who could ask for anything more? Well, Berstein could. It’s

GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEORGE GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERSHWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN

And in this corner, he’s got a little Liszt! It’s

FREEEEEEEEEDEEEEERIIIIIIIIIC CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN

I don’t know, guys. They’re the only two left. One of them is bound to show up on your iPod more often than the other, and get skipped less. Who is it?

Composer Cagematch! Round 2: Verdi vs. Handel

Well. Part of this complete breakfast, indeed.

In yet another decision I simply cannot in good conscience cosign, Raisin Brahms knocked Mahler right out. Guys, you’re killing me.

But at least Mahler put up a decent fight and no one complained about poor matching. I warned you last week, so believe me when I tell you this — I fear for the last two second round fights. I’m staking out potential hiding places as I speak. Tell me, if an angry mob is as intelligent as the stupidest member’s IQ divided by the number of participants, should behind the couch be sufficient? Keep in mind it’s not pushed against the wall.

So, anyway… in this corner, he wiped the Monte right off his name! It’s

GIIIIIUUUUUUUSEEEEEEPPEEEEEE VEEEEEEEEEEERDIIIIIIIIIIIIII

And in this corner, he showed Haydn who’s really Papa! It’s

GEORG! FRIEDRICH! HAAAAAAAAAAAAANDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL

Okay, look. Verdi excelled in opera. Handel was sorta the father of English opera. Okay? Will you accept this logic? Will you at least admit it makes more sense than pitting either against Gershwin?