books

Also known as The Day of Madness

Okay, this video is a week late. I thought a clip from the 1995 version (which is to say the only version that counts) of Pride and Prejudice would be quite thematically appropriate for the week of Valentine’s Day, and then I promptly forgot it was the week of Valentine’s Day. Today is, of course, President’s Day, but the vibe isn’t quite the same.

Well, I suppose they can’t all be winners. Here’s a vaguely romantic video for no reason at all, in which Miss Elizabeth Bennet sings Mozart’s “Voi che sapete” and then explains the importance of faking it. Truly advice for all seasons.

Time for the BFG to expand his repertoire

Just in case he got bored with his classical strings, you know.

see more Funny Captions

Music Gifts: Books are in actual stores!

And because books are in actual stores, you can general find them locally, thus reducing wait time and making them great for last minuteness.

If you find yourself staring down a holiday deadline and needing a gift for a classical music neophyte or just somebody who wants to build out the contents of their iPod, why not consider The NPR Guide to Building a Classical CD Collection: 350 Essential Works?

Far from just a straight-up listing, each recommended piece is thoroughly considered and discussed, so that your recipient can make an informed purchasing decision. Amazon’s reviews give it a thumbs-up, and did I mention books are great for making deadlines?

Or if you’re not afraid of shipping costs, why not investigate the AB store? You’ll never see Beethoven happier than when he’s in a party hat.

There. That’s my collection of music gifts for 2011. Go forth and conquer!

Music Gifts: Why play brass when you can wear it?

Hey, remember how in The Trumpet of the Swan there’s the swan Louis who can’t make any noise, so his dad steals him a trumpet so that he can communicate? Well, here’s a dress covered in brass instruments, so that your favorite dress-wearer can properly communicate the fact that she likes a handful of brass and she’s not afraid to get down to brass tacks and she’s certainly not afraid of bad puns.

Okay, those two are only tangentially related. Mostly I wanted to know if you remember The Trumpet of the Swan. WAY better than Stuart Little. If you don’t like the dress, buy a copy instead.

But why wouldn’t you like a dress covered in brass instruments? It’s freakin’ adorable. It’s also just under $400 at Modcloth, but you know, whatevs.

Looking for something a little cheaper but just as punny? Why not consider this delightful Rimsky-Korsakow mug, one of a multitude of delightful music items in the AB store? Strike your music teacher off your shopping list today!

Part 1: The good music teacher

Here’s another one of my music-in-literature-that-isn’t-about-music discoveries, or should I say rediscovery because I’ve read Betty Smith’s A Tree Grows in Brooklyn like eight thousand times. If you haven’t read it, you are dismissed from the human race until this situation is rectified.

Done? Okay, good, you may come retake your place as a citizen. Now cast your mind back to the bit where Smith describes Mr. Morton, the music teacher who comes around to the public schools of Brooklyn in the 1910s once a week…

He drew notes on the blackboard; he drew little legs on them to make them look as though they were running out of the scale. He’s make a flat note look like humpty-dumpty. A sharp note would rate a thin beetlike nose zooming off of it. All the while he’d burst into singing just as spontaneously as a bird. Sometimes his happiness was so overflowing he couldn’t hold it and he’d cut a dance caper to spill some of it out.

He taught them good music without letting them know it was good. He set his own words to the great classics and gave them simple names like “Lullaby” and “Serenade” and “Street Song” and “Song for a Sunshine Day.” Their baby voices shrilled Handel’s “Largo” and they knew it merely by the title “Hymn.” Little boys whistled part of Dvorak’s New World Symphony as they played marbles. When asked the name of the song, they’d reply, “Oh, ‘Going Home.’” They played potsy, humming “The Soldier’s Chorus” from Faust which they called “Glory.”

And now I invite you to think about all the good music teachers you’ve had, both in a school and in private, of your instrument and of music as a whole. The ones that loved music so much they gave it to you like an infection. The ones that didn’t just make you try harder; they made you want to try harder.

Think about them and tell me about them now, because tomorrow I’m going to rant and rave about the bad ones. Oh yes.

After the apocalypse, only vampires will like Rachmaninoff

I just read Richard Matheson’s I Am Legend, which was, as is almost always the case when you’re not talking about Neil Gaiman, way better than the movie. Without giving anything away, the bit with the dog made me cry. If you’re not familiar with the plot, the basic premise is that the entire human population has been taken down by some sort of plague that has more or less turned them into vampires; one man, Robert Neville, remains fully human.

It’s essentially well-written survival horror, which may or may not be your thing, but what I find interesting is that throughout Neville’s post-apocalyptic, fear-driven hermit existence, he plays classical music to help — to fill the silence, to drown out the vampires calling for his blood, a balm for his psychological wounds. He plays Schoenberg’s Transfigured Night, Mozart’s “Jupiter” symphony, Ravel’s Daphnis et Chloe.

And then one day he comes across another person, a woman named Ruth. Maybe she’s infected too, but she’s alive, so he takes her in and they talk and listen to Schubert’s fourth symphony.

The music ended. She got up and he watched her while she looked through his records…. “May I play this?” she asked, holding up an album.

He didn’t even look at it. “If you like,” he said.

She sat down as Rachmaninoff’s Second Piano Concerto began. Her taste isn’t remarkably advanced, he thought, looking at her without expression.

I have nothing to add to this except: bahahahaha.

What music would you take with you in the vampire apocalypse?

“Live and constantly changing, like a concert or ballet”

Hey! Remember when I said I wanted to talk about Fantasia periodically? Like, a year and a half ago or something? Let’s do it! Take it away, David Koenig, in your awesome, I-once-read-this-instead-of-playing-in-an-arcade book, Mouse Under Glass: Secrets of Disney Animation and Theme Parks.

As his excitement for the project grew, Walt [Disney] wanted to issue a partially new Fantasia each year, every few months replacing an old number with a newly animated one. That way, people would look at it not so much as music frozen on film, but as live and constantly changing, like a concert or ballet. They would have to ask not only where and when Fantasia was playing, but what Fantasia was playing.

Disney got as far as animating one whole sequence for inclusion in a future Fantasia, set to the tranquil “Clair de Lune.” Six years later, the animation was set to “Blue Bayou” and inserted in Make Mine Music, along with another previously scrapped idea, “Peter and the Wolf.” “Flight of the Bumble Bee” was finally used as a swing version, “Bumble Boogie,” in Melody Time.

I already gave you Peter, and I’m saving “Bumble Boogie” for a rainy day. Here’s “Clair de Lune.” Enjoy your Memorial Day!

Sunset Suite #12

I <3 The Phantom Tollbooth. And I even love the movie version. Despite the fact that I’ve never done drugs.

In the book there was a symphony orchestra for Chroma to conduct through the sunset, but still, pretty good. I just wish they hadn’t cut The Valley of Sound (I may have a fix for this later this summer!).

I solemnly swear I’ll be up to no good

And now for an exercise in sheer joy (but not sheer unadulterated joy because that doesn’t happen without Disney parks).

Loyal readers, this is your last blog post until February 1. Why? Because tomorrow morning I am heading to my heart’s homeland — Orlando, Florida. Not — and this is the one circumstance that, to paraphrase The Mikado, modifies my rapture — because I am going to Walt Disney World, but because this time I’m headed to Universal Studios Florida. (Please don’t disown me, Disney! I’m still going to visit Downtown Disney and have lunch on your property! I’ll be back for real soon! <3)

There are a couple reasons for this: 1. Universal is cheaper. 2. They have The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, and my friend Elizabeth is a big fan. Myself, I am only a 50% fan (I really liked the first one, then liked each subsequent one less and less as the protagonists got more angsty and by the last book I was ready to bring in Bradbury and torch the thing), but it sounds like the theming is magnificently done and the premier ride, a tour of the school’s castle grounds, is supposed to be a tour de force. We’re even catching breakfast at the Three Broomsticks one morning. Lukewarm as I may be on Potter himself, I’m excited.

I’m not leaving you all alone, though: I invite you to follow me on Twitter, as I will be — as I did during my last Disney vacation — be tweeting away about my musical experiences all through the parks. I will try not to rag on John Williams too much. Look for the hashtag #aintbaroqueFL.

In the meantime, why not vote in the Composer Cagematch!? You have until February 1st to get all your votes in, and I’ve added a nice, comfy radio button poll for your voting pleasure. Right now Stravinsky is narrowly edging out Prokofiev, but not by much — don’t let them decide it without you!

Other alternative activities: browse the archives, or hey, why not see a BSO concert? Brahm’s violin concerto, people, January 27, 28, and 29!

Okay, good. So you’re all taken care of. Don’t forget to follow my escapades on Twitter — I’ll be at it starting at 5 am, and I think that sort of dedication deserves your attention, don’t you?

P.S. “And soon the world’s Muggles will be under my control! LUMOS!“

Aren’t you a little short for a guard?

The bows are back in town! Yup, the second half of the BSO season starts this week, and they’ve chosen to tempt karma by kicking it off with John Williams’ Star Wars suite. Come on, guys. Aim higher.

Luckily they counterbalance it with the Phillip Glass piece Icarus at the Edge of Time, which is based on a children’s book by physicist Brian Greene. Why, when I was a little kid I loved learning about physics. No, wait, that’s an enormous lie. Happily, the story is about “a young boy’s accidental adventure to a black hole.” Oh, okay, that I can get on board with. Very Star Trek, no? (Scoff not — instead go listen to Jerry Goldsmith’s Voyager theme. Beautiful.)

The program also features Mark-Anthony Turnage’s Ceres, and there are LOTS of expository videos on the concert pages. There are performance on Friday, January 14 at 8 pm at the Meyerhoff, Saturday, January 15 at 8 pm at Strathmore, and Sunday, January 16 at 3 pm at the Meyerhoff. Wear your wax wings.

Updated to add: DISCOUNT!

12-Hour Sale, 50% Off Tickets!

The madness begins TOMORROW (Wednesday, January 12) at 6 p.m. and ends Thursday, January 13 at 6 a.m.!

Login to BSOmusic.org using Promo Code 14514 during these 12 hours to purchase your discounted tickets to Star Wars plus Icarus at the Edge of Time. You must login before adding tickets to your cart to view discounted ticket price. This offer is for online purchases only.